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Re: Confession
Author: ShyGuy	December 5, 2002 at 02:30:13
in reply to: Confession posted by Ipkiss on December 4, 2002 at 19:17:24

	You said: "I thought a woman with a cigarette was the sexiest sight I'd ever seen. Not sure why that made ME want to start smoking but it did." For me, it was a weird sense of participation with them in the act of smoking, i.e. when I smoke, I am feeling what they feel and am united with them (not spiritually, but...respirationally?), especially if I smoke the same brand as they. Since most of the girls with whom I went to high school smoked Newport 100s, that's what I smoked and still smoke. There was a girl I was obsessed with in college: she smoked Newport Stripes Regular constantly every day in the student lounge, and when I can find them, I still like to smoke them and think of Allie. I'm 32 years old, a closet smoker since I was 14. I am well-educated (PhD candidate). No one but my wife knows I smoke and, given my personality, everyone thinks I am an anti. Strange thing is, I AM. I don't want anyone to start, hope they stop, but enjoy watching the females in the meantime. For me, smoking is a very private affair; I would no sooner smoke in public than enter a restaurant naked.
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