Follow Ups

Post Followup

Dark Side Forum

ABC NEWS: Women and Smoking/ Fatal Attraction
Author: slimv	July 6, 2001 at 19:31:21

	I made use of Kool Guy's VCR alert about ABC news Smoking and Women. It was a great show. There's even a message board if ya'll want to see it at www.abcnews.com below is the address. http://boards.go.com/cgi/abcnews/request.dll?LIST&room=board_smoking&messagID=944end I posted the following message at the site. I’m 49 and smoke three packs a day. But this story isn’t about me. It’s about my husband. Some of you will want to stone me for this. Believe me. I’ve heard it all. Two years ago, I married my son’s best friend. He’s 21. I’ve known him since he was 12, but we didn’t become intimate until he was 18. He didn’t care that I was older. He didn’t care that I smoked. He just loved me and I loved him back. Last night we watched the 20/20 report together. My husband doesn’t smoke but he’s always been very tolerant of my habit. The show was very disturbing and I could see something was bothering him. When he told me he wanted to talk, I was sure he was going to ask me to quit. I was wrong. My husband told me he started smoking six months ago. I laughed. I thought he was kidding. Then he picked up my pack of Virginia Slims and lit one. I was stunned. I watched him inhale and exhale and I knew he wasn’t kidding. At first I was furious. I demanded he put out the cigarette. He refused and took another puff. We argued and he called me a hypocrite. I slapped him and broke down in tears. He put his arm around my shoulders and tried to console me. He told me he was sorry but he didn’t want to quit. I told him it was my fault. I told him he started because I smoke. He didn’t argue. He just told me that he loved me. This morning we got up and acted as if nothing had happened. I smoked in front of him but he didn’t smoke in front of me. I walked in on him while he was smoking in the bathroom. He flushed the cigarette and I walked out without acknowledging it. I went to this website after he left for work and have been sitting here ever since writing this. My husband is a smoker. There’s something terribly wrong with that sentence. He’s only 21. He’s too young to smoke. He knows better! So why did he start? What will I say to our family and friends when they find out? Will they blame me? What if I quit? Will he quit with me? What if I can’t quit? I am a smoker, so is my husband. I called my daughter and told her what happened. She doesn’t understand. She thinks it’s cute and romantic. She thinks I should be pleased. She says I’ll get used to it and that it’s not the end of the world. She says I should accept and love him unconditionally. I tell her she’s too young to understand and I hang up angry. Its 7:00. My husband got home an hour ago. He looked miserable. I felt miserable. The big ashtray on my desk is full, even though I emptied it once already. My husband is holding a lit cigarette. He dumps his ash in my ashtray. I ask him how his day went without acknowledging that he’s smoking in front of me. I know what he wants but I don’t know if I can give it to him. He kisses me on the cheek and leaves me with the computer. He calls out from the kitchen that he loves me. I tell him that I love him too as I try to find the words to tell him how I really feel. Dear Charlie, I love you as much as I love my own children. I’m 49 and have smoked for 37 years. You’re 21 and have smoked for six months. I understand how you feel because I was a young smoker once. I know how difficult it was for you to share your secret with me and I realize how much you want my acceptance. You’re 21 and you’re not my child, so I can’t give you my permission. I don’t want you to smoke like me. But this isn’t my decision to make. The choice is up to you and I’ll support whatever decision you make, because I love you. -Sharon
Follow Ups
Post Followup