| Follow Ups | Post Followup | Dark Side Forum |
| Re: Because you guys don't post responses | |
|---|---|
| Author: Alex | December 27, 2001 at 21:26:01 |
| in reply to: Because you guys don't post responses posted by slimv on December 27, 2001 at 10:46:19 | |
|
Hi Slimv, Well, I read your last story. It's certainly ranks as one of the better ones typically written on these boards and elsewhere. From the point of view of grammar, well, though not perfect it is a quantum leap over what is found usually. The mother's segue was a bit fast and without much tension, so I thought it a bit unrealistic, but then, you have a story to tell and it's often not too good an idea to get bogged down in details. So, I took it on faith and enjoyed the continuance. One thing I liked was the inner tension I felt with regards to the underlying smoking story. Will the mother encourage her son to smoke more? Will she finally get turned on (or whatever) to the notion that she'll "live" on as a smoking legacy she bestowed onto her son (even relishing the thought that what she's done to her body she'd want done to his and, so, she makes sure that this legacy is entrenched, etc., etc., you know, combinations of fetishistic images brought on by my own projecting and a reality born of story? I'm not into incest, at all, yet you've delineated it in, I suppose, as palatable fashion as one can. Still, not my own cup of tea, but se la vie. The key, I feel, is to keep the pace flowing gingerly and you seem to be doing that, and well. So...keep up the good work and, hopefully, the accolades will follow. Of course, to really start obtaining fans, you may want to also think of posting your story in places with a wider following. I hope I've helped you here. Will the mother |
||
| Follow Ups | ||
|---|---|---|
| ||
| Post Followup | ||